It's a rubber duck, but for fun I expand further
Oh, this rubber duck. Where do I even begin. I bought this baby bath toy fully expecting it to last approximately 3.5 baths before filling with mystery water, growing an internal ecosystem, and being quietly “lost” during a clean-out. Reader, I was wrong. This duck has seen things. Daily baths. Aggressive splashing. Being chewed on like it owes someone money. Thrown. Squeezed. Dropped. Emotionally tested. And yet, it is still pristine. Still floating. Still staring at me with that calm, unblinking confidence of something that knows it cannot be destroyed. It floats perfectly. Not the dramatic tipping-over float. Not the slow, sad sinking float. A balanced, centred, emotionally regulated float. Frankly, it's aspirational and my new spirit animal. It does not squeak unnecessarily. It does not leak suspicious gross fluids. It does not smell like the odour of regret. It simply exists in the bath, doing its job, asking for nothing,l and judging no one... I hope. My baby loves it. I respect it and the positionit now has in our bathtime and splash pool routine. At this point, I trust this duck more than most people. Five stars. If civilisation collapses, I’m confident this duck will still be floating somewhere, thriving.